13.02.17 – at the hospital

Hi God,

so I am ill, I suppose you already know that but anyway I am. I have got this stupid virus and I need to sneeze all the time and my muscles ache and my joints hirt and I am so tired. please relieve me of some of this illness I really don’t need to be sick right now.

thank you for providing the opportunity to buy birthday cards so soon after realising that I needed to and thank you for the lovely lady running the stool. I ask for your healing for the person who is sick who she steppe din for at the last minute  – being ill is no fun.

thank you that the oncall vascular reg was so understanding about me not feeling well, I ask for your help in getting something done in the next 2 hours or so.

also please help Stanley have a positive experience for his first proper valentines day tomorrow. perhaps if you don’t mind I could have you as mine?

thank you for the visit of Anne and Hugh which is coming up.

I ask for your blessing on Katie today for her birthday, may she have a fruitful year both in he relationship with you and her mortal life.

I ask for your guidance in my journey regarding my sexuality, thank you for you love n me regardless of my actions and I hope that you might show me what you have planned for me and what journey is should take regarding my relationships.

I pray that you would help me come to know your son Jesus Christ and that I might come to a place where I can know him as my saviour. help me understand why it is that I am so afraid to believe in him.

Amen

12.02.17 – on the train

Hi there,

So I thought I would try and do the whole prayer thing this way maybe it will work better for me who knows.

In my box today I am worried about not having done enough work (or any work) over the weekend but generally that I am not staying on top of things – I could really do with some motivation about now. I am worried about SSS particularly as I am sort of pretending it doesn’t exist when I have a fair bit of work to do on that. Thanks for the guides on analysing the papers even if they are a tad confusing at points. Also in my worry box is my mood, I think it is getting better and my app says so but I don’t feel it.

Thank you for the CU events weekend I really enjoyed that and I meant a lot to me. I think I need to start actively working on the whole Jesus thing for you and for me but I would like to ask for your help with that. I need your help with that. I ask for the courage, motivation ect to go to the uncover John things.

Thank you for helping me start writing again and the knowledge that it is ok to write about whatever I like and it isn’t for anyone but myself.

I ask for the childlike joy and imagination to play with Stanley and charlotte in particular the energy to do it. I would like to be able to play princesses or whatever with them like I used to, I am sorry that in my day to day life I have lost that and that I am too weighed down with worries and fear to give it a try.

I pray for Judah that his health improves and that he gets better at sleeping. I pray for Heather and Ed, that they enjoy this time with their children being young and that Judah and Barnaby channel some Christ like behaviour.

I pray for my situation with my exhousemates, that you can help me to truly forgive them and move on, that with each passing day they would occupy less and, and less of my thoughts. I ask that one day when you believe is to be ready that we might reconcile in some way. I thank you for my new home and lovely housemates and that my deposit was returned to me (remind me to double check that one?).

Thank you for my penpal, I hope that it becomes a fruitful relationship and that I can learn the art of expressing interest in her life though letters. Thank you for the hopeful Facebook group and the amazing support and love that is found on there.

I am sorry that I didn’t appreciate my family to the best of my ability when I was at home, for those moments where I wished to be somewhere else. Thank you for this weekend with them.

Amen